I just need to write this down because I would never want to forget, exactly like I did when I was a giddy high school writing in my diary.
It was a lazy morning and I had second thoughts if I should go and watch Promdi, a play in the uni. I already had tickets and invited friends so I felt obliged. Only JM and H showed up but I didn't mind. Don't fall in love with a theater actor, it said in the play. Well, too late of an advice now, is it?
Area 2 for lunch, E and K came. Satisfied my longganisa cravings. E and K arrived. JM bought a grinder at the uni tiangge. Then we went to a tea place nearby to play CAH.
It felt good to have one of my closest friends JM hang out with my ex-roommates who I consider to be my second family. H left after a while to see a movie with her BF.
We decide to go to my ex-roommates' place (where I also used to live) to smoke some. E played this movie, "Chef," next thing we know, we were salivating all over the place. After Chef and Babadook, we went to see B in an Indo restaurant in the village, food was awesome.
Went to drink at Sarah's later. K and E stayed with us for one bottle and stayed home. CB arrived after a while and when the bar closed on us we decided to go to the uni's Science Complex. At first B and I were keen on the idea that we were going to walk our way to there but I backed out when I realized how freezing it was so we took JM's car. CB bought a bottle of rhum.
I remember racing with them to the center of the complex only to have lost because I had to remove my shoes. Then B ran back to where we came but nobody followed suit. I remember doing a cartwheel. Then walking towards where B was because he had the rhum and the water. I probably felt the spark then, but paid no attention because duh. We started drinking and I was the first to lie on the grass.
We were all lying on the grass, I don't exactly remember what they were talking about if anything, I was staring at the sky, which ironically gave me intense peace considering that it was covered with thick clouds from the looming storm. The moon was out and bright too. I don't believe in fate or destiny, but the night was meant to be like that, I just knew at that moment. The universe is made up of chaos, yes, but it throws you moments, and you have to catch it and hold it in your heart or else it's just going to fleet by and you would have wondered what happened to your life. The universe doesn't owe us explanations, but sometimes it likes to share, and it pays well to listen.
There was nothing else I could ask for in the universe at that moment. And I was in that moment, the feeling of peace and understanding, when B held my cold hand. I didn't mind. I thought the moment was already perfect, I wasn't asking for anything more, and yet the universe still gave me something. I didn't feel unworthy or guilty. I just felt grateful. It was the nicest hold of hands I have felt in my life.
I got snapped back from the sky's trance when B yelled to JM to take a picture of the four of us. He hugged me, and there you go, perfect moment immortalized. It might not have been long after when the uni guards/police came. We stood up in surrender to what we already expected to be part of the experience.
We went to the observatory after but didn't get in then to the grandstand but was seen by the guards even before we got off the card, so we eventually headed for the track field.
By then I already knew that the night was going to end soon. And it was just the right timing, we weren't feeling too tired and we weren't also longing for more.. We didn't even choose to stay for the sunrise like we usually did. We just knew that it was time to end it at the perfect moment.
Lately I have been learning to truly love, in all its ways. And that night, the little moments and their sum, that was love.
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