Craycray

been drinking for days and days on end
without a lover for three nights
started smoking cigarettes again, socially
break outs and dark circles
a comb hasn't touched my hair for four days
no shower today, not yet at least
not a single fuck is given

Sunshine and Clouds and Everything Proud

I think I've been drinking for two weeks straight now except the Monday last week when C fell asleep on me just when we were about to go out, and so far it has been nothing but good vibes. This is my last night. I should do something.

Summer Love, Etc.

Absence makes the heart grow the fuck up, and mine is growing more and more in love with you everyday.


This break has been good for me and C. Hooray for that. I think we're finally getting the hang of this. And it's right about time! That's three years of trials and errors right there.

While I would love to write that everything is fine and dandy, the current semi-feudal, semi-colonial society dictates my life to be eternally flawed.

I'm going home tomorrow because I am flat broke. (C is too, I guess, since he said he went over the budget on his trip.) I was banking on the people who owe me money and were supposed to pay me up. Then maybe sell weed. 4/20's coming up, anyway. Tough times require a tough heart. I wish not to dwell on money matters right now (because it's the freakin' summer for crying out loud!) but fact remains, this life is determined by economics.

So. I will try to work this financial thing out first then I'm going to raise hell out of this scorching summer.

Mundane

mushy insides smudged mascara same clothes splitting headache

and no matter, i always wake up
at exactly
(not around)
noon

wondering if he remembers
thinking i always do

Sorry

Oh, goody. I'm too sleepy to blog, but blog I should.

HONESTLY,

the last few days have felt so good I still want more of it. Don't get me wrong, I miss C, but I have also missed this lifestyle too much. It sounds selfish but. But.

Anyway, no more energy.