Were

I was going to talk about something then I forgot what. Ever since I stopped reading, I feel like I don't have the right to write anymore. I only talk crap these days and I know I'm not worth reading. 

I don't wish to become younger but if only things can go back to how there were before. I made more sense then than I do now that I actually have the chance to actualize my visions. I was better dreaming and thinking of things that I could do. I don't have anything to offer this world anymore. I am just a slave to other people trying to build their dreams.

But maybe I need to learn to be more patient. And maybe it will pay off. Of course there's also the chance that it wouldn't but I can't be bother into thinking that right now, else I will have a serious breakdown. I thought I liked doing this but every time I'm doing it, the only thing I look forward to is getting a break and boy, I don't think I'll be having one anytime soon. And boy, do I want one so badly. My life doesn't even have room for my crazy anymore. And I not being allowed to be crazy is what's been driving me crazy. It's difficult to explain but having to go against your body's will everyday is absolutely exhausting. And so said Sylvia Plath, "I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is."