12.9.10

Nah

I still feel  sorry for him, but due to recent discoveries my sympathy has turned to loathing. You can never trust anyone these days. Ugh, I hate being in love. I hate being jealous and disappointed and lied to.

I'm About to Barf

I don't like this feeling. The feeling when the person you love most is suffering from an emotional catastrophe and all you can do is text him and tell him that it's going to be okay, that we'll talk about it tomorrow and we'll planeverything out and everything will turn out for the best. It's like telling a kid that there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow except that this kid does not believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. So you just don't know what to say anymore.

And as a depressant, for lack of a better term, because that's what they call people like me in those medical books, I can't help but take everything in. Feel his hurt. Nurse his pain. Until that dreaded anxiety attack comes.

It won't happen this time though. He needs me more than ever and I just love him too much. And I swear I will kill myself if I let him down.

Tangled Web

Masaya ka pero alam mong may kulang. Yung bagay na tinalukaran mo para maabot ang kasiyahang tinatamasa mo ngayon. Alam mo kung alin ang mas mahalaga pero masyado kang duwag para harapin ito.