24.5.13

the ungrateful kid

i think i'm about to lose my job.

i care a lot but i can't muster the courage to deal with it
at this point i can't imagine any future
or my brain just don't want to entertain the thought of it. whichever.
i would really rather just... just.
while other people fall into depression without any reason, i always do, there's always a trigger and it's always my fault
maybe i don't have BD and i'm just spiraling down a tangled web I myself weaved
i know i will have to face this problem sooner or later
that is the right thing to do and i would like to believe that i'm still capable of doing the right things
but this is myself talking
and this is myself not doing anything

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