Dear Diary

I am dazzled and confused.
And I am into drinking again.
And smoking.

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (love it) I think

So. I think.

I still love C. There are just too many things, too many, on my head right now. Wondering if it's still worth it. Or if I'm just wasting another 2 years of my life with something I am no longer sure of. Never want that to happen again.

WHAT SHALL I DOOOOOOO?

So. Because of Tita D.

I am now on a blogging marathon.

Ang now I am not.

UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH labo.

A New Post

Because I feel like I should. Feels different though. Can't talk about my life or my day. Just the general hullabaloos that come and go. Wondering, is this how Flash feels? At least it's better than being Clark Kent. Speedballing everyday. My blogs are bombs ready to explode on my face at any time. Anybody I know could just stumble upon one of them and I'm dead.

Just two years ago, my then boyfriend learned about my secret love affairs also through my "secret" blog. How careless. And maybe I do like it that way. The feeling that eventually people are gonna find out what I really feel. Saves me the hassle of explaining everything. Yeah? Yeah.

unable to write

is this the life then?

2010's finally over

and done with.
My new year's resolution: live fasteeeeeeeeeeeer!

I'm the type who consumes

I'm the type who consumes

until the feeling that I am complete again

Loves

until the day that I am loved by another

Pleads

until the moment that I rise
and face what must be

Waits

until the time that I can no longer.

Office Girl

I thought I didn't have a life when I was living it without a job. Now, that I've got my self a job I am totally socially awkward and unable to finish anything other than office work.

I hereby declare cyberly that from here on out I officially am without a life.

How do you end a relationship with someone you love?

Fuck.

Quarter-Life Crisis

Tomorrow I start work. Full-time. I am trying to be excited about it but as everyone knows, pretending to be enthusiastic about something isn't my specialty.

Too much bad vibes in my system right now. I am currently hating C and his kupal ways. I still have a lot of shit-slash-work to finish and I'm already starting work tomorrow, it's stressing me out! I need a bottle or two or a smoke. Sucks to be home. :(

Tralalala

Oh you're not flirting? You're being nice? Then watch me being so nice to that hot guy and tell me if I am any good at it, deal?

Doc, something's wrong with me.

I've got personality.

A-ha! I rarely post nowadays. I must be halfway through getting a life.

How far from eureka yet?

Ugh. Creativity, I need you. NOW.

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."

- e e cummings

Demet

I HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. I'm in that stage again when I can't get anything done. Why does this keep coming back? Don't I get to move on and not do this anymore? It's not even a phase. I wish it were. And it isn't PMS. I'm doomed to be like this forever.

No matter what I do, people just keep disappointing me. I have come to realize that there's nothing wrong with the people around me. It's me. I keep expecting.

Pota, I'm a sad, sad breathing thing.

getting tired of this

fun isn't FUN anymore.
looking for something new.

I have nothing better to say

so follow me on tumblr.

what to do, what to do

To be or not to be. That is not really a question. -Jean-Luc Godard

PERO DILEMMA PA RIN S'YA, OKAY?

randomrandomrandom because it's four a.m. and i'm still awake and sabaw

it's all good when i'm not with you. but every time you're near and i get a whiff of your pheromones, i die. it's like getting high minus the risk of going to jail and the respiratory disease. every time you hug me--when you cuddle like a panda and i fit just perfectly in your arms--i am at my weakest, inhaling you like the air in QC (not entirely healthy nor clean, but familiar and comforting).

and on this note, i must say, you are:
*a cigarette on a chilly night
*a good book on a sunday
*a bar of chocolate during PMS
*noodle soup on a rainy day
*a TV marathon on a lazy day
*my mangga and asin-with-sili, NYFD fries, and milkshake ALL-IN-ONE

i love you most when i don't have to try too hard. because i know i do. and it's tiresome and stressful. and when i don't it feels like three in the morning when everything's simple and quiet and the internet connection is at it's fastest. i love you like a hundred thousand times over my DSL speed. i love you even when I hate you. and I hate you a lot. and I don't care how long this would last. i love you because I want to.