Dear Diary

I miss having a diary. I used to keep a diary when I was young where I poured all my pent-up emotions and chronicled everything that happened to me during the day. Sometimes I would even write something fictitious or exaggerate my stories a little bit just so it would seem more adventurous. I feel bad that I didn't keep any of them. Back then, I would even go as far as secretly dying my hair just so I have something fun to write on my diary. Hell, that was the most fun that I could get when I was fourteen, on the same level with sneaking out of the house to see the lunar eclipse. Just in front of the house, mind you.

Since I was a kid, I've always been fascinated with secrets and doing things secretly. I like the thrill of it. Nothing excites me more than doing things in secret. I even formed a secret group when I was fifteen. We were called the "White Shadow." We would go from doing pranks to sending secret love letters. And I, was the mastermind. Of course I let someone else be called the Mastermind, because I had to be the director. I had to plan everything, including who should be the Professor X. We could go way, way back, when I was 8 or 9 or 10, I formed an exclusive group called "The Craft" which is obviously inspired by the movie. Sadly, I don't remember what we did in our group. I really should have kept those diaries.

Then I had secret blogs. A bunch of them. All over the WWW. It's very risky. It has gotten me into trouble twice. On bizarrely very similar occasions. My ex found out that "something happened" between me and my workmate because I left my e-mail open and he was able to read my blog posts because apparently blog post forwarding to my e-mail was turned on. Me and the guy weren't even sleeping together then. We slept together eventually. The second time was when C found out that "something happened" between me and another workmate ("L"), on which I eventually confessed that we slept together. There, not exactly my target market of audience. Despite everything, I'm still here, obviously. Ranting away. Exposing my entire existence and putting it in compromise.

Anyway, I just wrote this so I could babble about babbling secretly, and because I just thought that I should make an effort to post more often even though they are completely nonsensical. That's the point of having a secret diary, after all.