Friday the 13th

Ain't my day, bitches. I just want to sulk in a corner, under the covers. I can't even begin to...

Lately, I like to keep things positive but it seems that I'm the only one who does. What's the point of having an optimistic perspective when people around you would make you feel like you're only fooling yourself? If holding back on yourself, the things you want to do, your dreams, and your principles so you could help the people you love is being selfish then fuck being selfless!

I promise to be strong the following days and punch my worries in each of their faces. No more social life. I'm going to start moving for myself and my family.

So goodbye, good-vibed self. Welcome Bertong Badtrip back.

Lumpen Bourgeois

All the things that I've been doing or not doing the past weeks have taken their toll. My body's giving up on me and my finances are messed up (not that I have any money to begin with.)

I started smoking again last week and I have been drinking non-stop for days. Worst of it all, I haven't been keeping a healthy diet. Hell, I haven't even been eating on time or at least thrice a day. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat. I usually eat A LOT, but I had no money so I had to wait for friends or my housemates to feed me.

Now, there's somewhere I have to be at for a job interview but here I am at my parents' house, slacking, drinking lots of water, trying to rest my lungs. I am conflicted. I know that I can reschedule to another day but my need for a job is urgent. (I don't even care what I'm going to have to do, I can always quit if I don't like it.) I'm just scared that I might not pass the interview and exams if I go in this state.