I haven't been hurt this much by another person. And the stupidest thing is, I still like him. But I have decided--I'm through. If he doesn't like me enough to try and make things work then I'm done. I've been hurt too many times in this lifetime and I'm not willing to risk another for something that is not going to work in the long run anyway. I might be being too safe but hey, I've got my emotional health to take care of. I'm crazy enough as it is.
Today is the first day of my 100 Days to Moving On. A hundred days may seem too long, but those who have gone through the rollercoaster of a process called moving on would agree that it's a shitty long ride.. I shall lose feelings for him sooner than 100 days but to totally move on is a different challenge altogether. And also given my history of hanging on for too long in all cases, this would be probably the second most difficult challenge of the year, next to paying debts.
I can't promise that there won't be moments of relapse--there will be a lot. But I shall try my best never to make the first move.
20 days of Denial
20 days of Anger
20 days of Bargaining
7 days of Depression (sorry, 20 days might kill me.)
Then Acceptance
This might be too ideal but I'm just throwing it out there. We'll see. At least I have found a way to amuse myself out of this crappiola of a situation.
Fact #1: I like him. Primarily because I chose him. I thought he was different. Isn't that always the story?
Fact #2: He might have liked me at one point but not enough to see it through.
Fact #3: If he shows just a slight hint that he still likes me, I'll come running back to him.
Let's be honest here, if Fact #3 does happen, I'd probably lose my mind. I should just remember not to invest any feelings. Just be cold inside. I can do that. I know I can. I've never but that doesn't mean I can't.
More importantly, do not expect and do not wish for Fact #3 to happen! Let's try to do this as less complicated as possible.
Let Day 1 begin.
