Last Week of December Ever

Learned that a gay friend, Martin, just moved in near C's place. Met up with him. Then decided to crash a house party, which was apparently a pool party we weren't prepared for. Got crazy drunk. We were literally forced to drink from the bottle straight up without chaser. Fun people. Fun, wild, virgin, and hella rich people.

After getting drunk.

We decided to tag along with Martin to a gay club in a gimik spot located in Ortigas. It was so much fun. I was just dancing and jumping and singing. It was the most fun I've had in a while. I kept scanning the club for girls I could dance with, but no luck.

Went to the bathroom, which was outside the bar but just inside the building. On my way back to the bar I pulled the fire alarm. *RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG*

The guards were on me so when I got back to the bar I asked C for his hoodie so I could hide my face.You couldn't hear the ringing inside the bar because the music was too loud. (That place is definitely a fire hazard.) I certainly remember proudly grinning when I was telling C that I pulled the fire alarm.

Then, it was as if nothing happened. They probably turned the alarm off or something. Didn't care.

I remember complaining that I couldn't find anybody to dance with because everyone there were gay guys who weren't interested in dancing with a girl. Someone (I don't remember who) pointed out the girl in the corner, almost as if daring me to go up to her. So I asked the girl to dance. And dance away we did. She wasn't good-looking. Didn't care at the time.

Then apparently later on I demanded C that we go home. C says I puked my guts out in the cab. Then I puked some more when we got to his place. He was teasing me the next day that I have a new bestfriend--the planggana.

The girlfriend of his roommate says we got home around 6 AM and we were fighting. It went something like this:

Me: I need a locker!
C: Wait.
Me: I need a locker now!
C: Wait, I'm looking for it--wait, what?! You need a locker?!

I woke up with the worst hangover I've ever had in my life. I couldn't move. My innards felt sensitive and mushy. But my clothes have been changed and C bought me mami for breakfast. The sweetest thing. I popped a V and spent the whole day sleeping. When I woke up at night I still wasn't feeling well so I stayed in.

So, yeah, that's it. My average life. At least I got to pull a fire alarm.

Oh and, the most important thing, I know I am loved. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Sometimes

I swore I'd figure this thing out before the year ends so...

Sometimes I want to ask, "Can I unfriend you?" But there seems no polite way of saying this. And can you just Eternal Sunshine someone from your life? I tried to, but to no avail.

We've been really good friends but sometimes I feel like I cannot move on with my life with you still in it. Just sometimes though. Most times I'm perfectly fine and happy.

And C is very special to me and I do not want to lose him.

Okay, still unresolved. Better luck tomorrow.