Thursday

Did absolutely nothing today. Ate a lot, but that's about it. For someone as broke as I am, I sure do eat way more than what I earn.

Ang lungkot maging ako, sa totoo lang. Wala akong reli sa mundo.

Oo, 'yun ang realization ko ngayong araw; sa totoo lang, irrelevant ako.

Medyo masaklap. Pero enlightening.

Dahil ba ganito ako ay ititigil ko na ang mga ginagawa ko? Or do I strive to be relevant? May point ba ang pagiging relevant? Meron. Pero kailangan bang lahat ng bagay ay relevant?

I want to forget about guys. Most of the time it's fun messing around. But on nights like this? No, I'm fine, thank you.

And I'm awfully sleepy. I still have work to do though.

But I don't think I can still do them tonight.

And I'm broke.

I'm going crazy thinking about what I've been doing. Throwing myself to different men. It felt great then; I didn't really care. I mean, I'm confident with who I am so who gives, right?

But right now, depressed as I am, I'm starting to think that that was very lowly of me. Throwing myself around. Gah.

Okay, I'm confused.