I'm not really asking much out of life. Or, I'm not asking beyond what it has. Whatever it is, I will drink and devour it. It is now what it is supposed to be and it should be better, fighting for this "better" is part of the Life. I'm not asking for a lot. I might not even be asking for anything. I'm just here to sail.
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I'm not pretty. I have a lot of insecurities, the biggest of which are my teeth. I regret that I even considered wearing braces. My teeth were fine as they were and I was often complimented with my smile. Insecurity pushed into wearing braces. Not pulling any bullshit though, I know that I don't look bad. I get admirers from time to time, the feeling's just not mutual most often than not and I've always had a boyfriend so I never really had any real experience with dating. I think I've grown up a lot in a few month and I am now more confident with myself to the point that I don't even take care of myself anymore. I love hanging out with my guy friends and I treasure all my platonic relationships.I love that I don't have to prettify when I have to be with them because there's no one to fix myself for, unlike when a girl usually has to be pretty because there are guys around, that kind of thing.
But a couple of months ago (I think), a guy friend 'fessed up about liking me. I honestly don't know what to feel about it because I don't like him in that way. Since then, I've been iffy around my guy friends and actually males in general. Like something has been tainted and that malice can be placed anywhere between the simple good mornings and late night drinking sessions. Plus, I have never really given my "image" a thought until this happened, including how I always hang out with guys. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I feel disgusted with myself. I know I shouldn't be made feel bad because I never really did anything wrong but I can't help feeling like this. Now I don't even know who I should be friends with.
