It's been a while since I've been here. Or has it?
I've been a rollercoaster of a whirlwind on a sunny day with thunderstorms. I haven't been doing my work and have been spending most of my time bumming around, drinking and smoking.
This is what it's like to be happy and a mess at the same time. My mood dictates that I'm depressed but I still have that spark in my heart whenever I choose to look for it.
There's a guy I like. I have to say that I'm in no hurry with these things. Besides, I'm not sure if I do like him or this is just one of those in-the-moment whims. Aside from being careful with my own feelings, I'd also have to be careful with his. Nobody likes a bitch. Our situation's complicated though and I don't think we can ever be together in the real world. Like a beautiful cliche, we are but a dream.
I know that what we have is not going anywhere but I still wish we could hang out more. Spend long conversations and comfortable silence. Coffee, cigarettes, pavements, music, the works. Sue me, there's unbelievable bliss in being romantic.
