Someone talked to me today, a former comrade. She's bipolar herself and is an active acitivist despite. She is still in treatment and urges me to get in touch with the movement again. Like what she said to me, I also believe that being with a collective would help me a lot but I just can't see that happening right now. I'm such a weakling. It was tempting though, to work far away doing what I love to do. I just can't trust myself yet. Maybe in time. Maybe.
I should stop whining and get a grip of myself. I should take advantage of this hypomania to finish all of the work I've been putting off. No more excuses, I said, then so be it. I'm not being judgmental by saying this, I know what it feels like to be judged, but reading all of the rants of other people about what they're going through made me realize that I need to step up. I was an opinionated, annoying, but very responsible control freak, and I'd like to be like that again, only better.
