15.10.14

Okay. Enough.

We've been sleeping together for two nights now. The second night weird.

I tried to resist on the first night (oh heavens, I did) but to no avail. I was ridden with guilt and promised that it would never happen again.

But when he came to my house unexpectedly the next night, I couldn't contain my happiness. There he was, standing at the bed of my feet. From the moonlight coming in through the window, he seemed like an angel offering everlasting peace, or a long-yearned for apparition of a lost loved one.

"I held you like an unfaltering nostalgia." Because I did, I didn't want to let go but I had to. You weren't mine and you cannot be.

So tonight when I went into my room, it smelled of rain, I lied down and thought about holding you like there were no walls between my bed and the downpour, And tonight I will fall asleep forgetting about this, waking up to stark sunlight, fulfilling the day without you. Always without you.

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