Wow

I'm sad and restless. Wow.

Sad because I feel like my life is shit and I'm not worth shit. I know this is the depression talking and would probably be looking back in a week's time wondering why I ever thought this. But right now, everything just feels like shit, turd. poop.

I am restless of this "production team". I am becoming impatient and I'm not even doing anything to speed things up. I wish I find the will to do this again, the trust for my workmates, and the faith that all the hard work is going to be worth it.

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Truthfully? I hate people who brag. Being proud is one thing, but actual bragging, without being humorous of course, is just one of those things I can't stand. Well, I guess I do have virtues. Now that I think about it, I do believe in the Desiderata, and try to live by it as much as I can (when I'm not being a stupid maniac). It's my very own "EXCELSIOR".

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I feel guilty because it seems to me that I'm indulging in my sadness. The last thing I want is for people to think that I'm using my mood disorder as an excuse. So I must remember to be my own advocate [cue feel-good song]