I drank every night from Thursday last week to last Sunday. I wasn't supposed to do that. But mania got ahead of me. It was poor judgment. Saturday night (4/20) was fun though. For once I chose not to go out where there's "something happening". I just went out and danced with a few good friends. That's my kind of trip now.
Sunday, I went out with an online friend. How I regret that now. He was just visiting and it was his last day in the country before he goes back to New York so I thought it would be nice to show him around a bit before he goes. I went home sick to my stomach and vomiting. I had been feeling nauseous because of my upped dosage of lithium, and topping that with drinking on an empty stomach, let's just say I'm lucky nothing worse happened.
Friday until Sunday I think I was starting to get out of mania and as much as I hate the nausea, it helped keep me on a leash. Because I literally couldn't move a lot.
Monday my mood was starting to come down, and yesterday was a very emotional day for me. Today I'm feeling better. I'd like to say stable, albeit the constant sleepiness. My doctor increased the dosage of my mood-stabilizer-to-prevent-depression pill yesterday. I hope this would prevent me from crashing into a depressive episode. As of now I'm actually in a really good mood.
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I have decided to live through the saying, "Be your own advocate."
From now on I will try my best to make sound judgments and will not let my mood dictate my manners (hard as that may be). I will stay away from alcohol and drugs (except weed, duh). I will always be professional and have good work ethics. I will work hard for everything and do everything to be productive even when I'm not feeling up to it. I will watch my spending (!!!) and really start to get things sorted.
I really do want to get better, you know.
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