Little Blue Pill

Little blue pill made me do things I have long forgotten
Cut my self through and numb myself sick
It's cool, they'll say, it's chill
But it made me think dark thoughts
Made me want to do dark things
Or do things in the dark

And now the blue little pill making its way out of my system
is
leaving
victorious.

Sobriety

Easy D

Told me I'm easy

Well I am

Like a Sunday morning

Fucked four my whole life

And you think it's forty

Drink beer, take this, take that

And you think I'm game

Wear a short skirt
And you put a palm on my leg

Feeling it upwards

It's all good, man, I'm no hypocrite

We all need the warmth

But you can't
(to both our frustration)

get into my skirt

We sit side-by-side in the cab

And little by little you sit closer
Whispering to my ears, hitting on me

Then you put your hand over mine

But I give no response

I don't hold hands

I may tease, I may please

I'll make you sweat and plead

You want a ride

I'll give you a fucking rollercoaster

You want some heat

We'll burn this house to the core

Though I suggest

You, run, now

I'm a monster unleashed

fuck love. fuck life. fuck everyone.

Choose this.

Masama ba 'kong tao?

Siguro nga. La Vie Boheme na ba?

flowwwwts

ayoko lang munang mag-isip. gusto kong lumutang lang ng lumutang habang nagsa-soundtrip. tapos may kausap lang na kabigan sa chat. wag sa personal, ang hirap e.

tangina. ano 'yun? ano 'yung nangyaring 'yun? amats lang 'yun? pukingina naman. parang di mo alam disposisyon ko ngayon e. bestfriend kita alam mo kung anong pinagdadaanan ko sabay ganon?

tapos wala lang. parang wala lang. kasalanan ko pa 'yan kung magtatanong ako o magcocomment. kelangan kalimutan lang. na parang wala lang. tanginang buhay 'to. ako na naman ang talo.

Me Gone Wilder

I have become uncontrollable.

Hubu

Hubu (hoo-boo) n. hug buddy

Gera

Bakit kaya tuwing summer napapagera ako?

Ugh, tabla beach!

Tonight, I write.

For I have nothing else to do. The part where you are lying down on your bed staring at the screen for he has just left after spending an entire day with you. The time when you have no one to talk to inspite having five roommates. The night when you wish you're home with your family and baby brothers. That short period when you feel like you have no one.

I am lonely. :(

Please.

Enough! (Para!)
Older brother, by the side. (Kuya, sa tabi lang.)

You already. (Ikaw na.)

for that bittersweet forbidden breathtaking creature

funny how you make me nervous about this

and sometimes about other things

like will he laugh or is this too much or will he like it

crazy how i think about how you smell like a place i've always dreamt of going to

but wouldn't know because i haven't yet

and yet you feel like something i have been in the past

like that tireswing two blocks away

i wish my eyes had a camera

so i wouldn't have to always give you a second look

or a third

and read you like a favorite chapter of the book

again and again

and see the layers, and discover new things

everytime i do

figuring out the surface

and getting amazed by the depth

and i'll take you places

literally and not so

and tell you things

i wouldn't dare let you know
know your favorite song, learn it and sing it
know your favorite film, watch it, memorize it, re-enact it
know you and your desires
may it be wordly may it be romantic
may it be idealist
like spend a day inside your brain
see what you follow what you crave
which revels you

and i don't know if i should say this

at this time

and by this

but heck, i'm the one writing

for your information

you. drive me wild. man.

i would like to know which words you use the most
put them in a little black notebook
so i would never forget

discover the known and the unknown
take what i can get

RB

Rebound pa? But it hurts too much to do it. Emotionally I mean.

Awake Still

I hate you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall! Angst kung angst but fact remains, I hate you aaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

Lately, all I do is Tweet. Baka makatsamba lang ng makakabasa.

erase and rewind

i thought i was ready for the reconciliation until i realized that you haven't changed one bit

Comfortable Silence

Sitting/lying down/lying on the stomach with two girlfriends. No talking but company's all I need.

HOT

I'm supposed to attend a meeting 45 minutes from now but, hell, read: Hangover. I'm not sure about this gig thing. Because: no pay. Never dreamt of becoming a starving artist, if you must know.

The weather's too hot I'm hallucinating.

4/21

Tangina n'yong lahat sige mag-beach kayo. Eww. Hahahahaha.

Sunday on a Wednesday

Today's going to be a wonderful day. Still nervous about the play rehearsal but whatevs! So muuuuch to look forward to. Ah. :)